Home Blog A Bit Off-Topic: Chuck Norris vs. Tim McCarver

A Bit Off-Topic: Chuck Norris vs. Tim McCarver

Written on September 24, 2007 at 10:57 am, by Eric Cressey

#1

Chuck Norris is contemplating currently suing NBC, claiming “Law” and “Order” are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Millions of viewers are contemplating suing Fox, claiming that they suffered irreparable harm in the form of lost IQ points from listening to Tim McCarver.

#2

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

Tim McCarver also has two speeds: cheer for Derek Jeter and cheer for the entire Yankees team.

#3

Chuck Norris has a pet kitten – every night for a snack.

Tim McCarver spends his nights snuggling with his Joe Torre bobblehead doll in anxious anticipation of the following weekend’s games.

#4

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Tim McCarver wears Alex Rodriguez pajamas.

#5

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

When Tim McCarver was born, no slap was necessary to ensure that he was breathing. He was already spewing out pro-Yankees propaganda.

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