FFL Week 12: Greg Tops Gregg
Written on November 25, 2008 at 12:08 pm, by Eric Cressey
I knocked off Gregg T. this week in fantasy football, 84-56, to bring my winning streak to three and catapult (yes, it was that dramatic) myself into a three-way tie for second place in our league at 7-5. It was pretty redeeming, as Gregg talked a lot of smack a few weeks ago when he heard that I was terrible at bowling.
You see, Gregg’s bowled a few 800+ games (he defies conventional bowling scoring systems) and has enjoyed all the fame and fortune that goes along with dominating in a sport with so much international acclaim. In fact, each time he walked from the car to Cressey Performance to train, he was swarmed by adoring fans. He’d usually walk in the door, gather up all the women’s underwear that had been thrown at him, sign a few autographs, and then get his lift on.
This week however, Gregg T. was outdone by Greg J – Jennings, that is. If you didn’t see it, Jennings (a Green Bay WR who carried my team this week) put on a show last night in spite of his team getting beaten like a rented mule. And, he held on to this pass, where his helmet strap was permanently implanted in his cerebellum.
Fortunately, Gregg redeemed himself when he sent along this article to me for blog material:
Obese Have Right to 2 Airline Seats
Apparently, if you’re “functionally disabled by obesity,” you can get two airline seats for the price of one. Yes, you read that right: being heftier affords you extra luxuries (most notably, avoiding the possibility of ever having to sit next to another obese person, which is something that I think would convince anyone to lose weight).
It will be interesting to see if they go by Body Mass Index (BMI), which will probably rank every individuals who is actually dedicated to lifting weights as obese. At 5-8. 190-195, I am literally on the border between “overweight” and “obese.” Forget First Class; I’m flying Fat A**!
Kidding aside (okay, not really; I’m never serious), this opens us up to a lot of dangerous precedents that could be the fallout from this court ruling:
1. Smelly people get two deodorants for the price of one.
2. Folks who are seven feet tall get to go on the amusement park rides twice because they’re twice as tall as the minimum height.
3. People who are soft tissue nightmares get two massages for the price of one (as if massage therapists aren’t burning out too fast already)
This list could go on and on. Dangerous precedent, indeed.
Thanks for the link, Gregg. Sorry I had to inflict such violent fantasy football dominance on you.