I’m a big fan of MulletsGalore.com – and frankly, if you are any kind of God-fearing model American, you should be, too.

At this landmark site, they categorize various mullets into any of a number of subcategories – from the Camaro-Mullet to the Mull-Hawk – in a classification scheme that is rivaled only by the Dewey Decimal System, the Dow-Jones Industrial Average, and the Dollar Menu at McDonald’s.  Mulleteers are classified according to mulletude, aggressiveness, hobbies, sightings (where they can be found), favorite bands, and sidekicks.

So, you can imagine how thrilled I was when I caught this never-before-seen species of Mullet on The Biggest Loser the other night.  Yes, folks; it’s the medi-mullet, a doctor setting a haircare trend:

It just screams, “Hippocratic Oath on the Top; Party in the Back!”  Rankings below are out of 10:

Mulletude: 2 (have to be subtle to stay professional, even if you can’t wait to get out of that suit and throw on some torn stonewashed jeans and blast some Def Leppard)
Aggressiveness: 1 (bedside manner is still somewhat important, even if people will give you the benefit of the doubt because you have a mullet)
Sightings: Book Signings, hanging out with aerobic-minded personal trainers who wear man capris

Favorite Musician: Michael Bolton, of course