The theme of this week's random thoughts is "questions" (even though I know that having a theme makes it pretty non-random).
1. Yesterday, one of our high school guys was throwing - or tossing, I should say - the medicine ball with less than stellar velocity. So, I went over and pinned a $20 bill to the floor with a dumbbell, and told him that if he broke a medicine ball, he could keep it. He didn't break one, but at the very least, it got him throwing the ball harder.
Seconds later, I hear a thud - only to look over and see that my fiancee had dropped a dumbbell directly on one of our stopwatches. Her question? "Do I get $20 for breaking a stopwatch?"
Sorry, honey, breaking stopwatches doesn't get you the $20 when you already have access to my credit cards and checkbook.
2. Do you watch The Biggest Loser? If so, you have to read this blog post by Robert do Remedios.
3. Can someone tell me why this kid doesn't just put down the controller? Weird.
5. Was that video just woefully inappropriate?
6. Does anyone think there is actually hope for Matt Forte as a legitimate fantasy football running back this year? He really let me down in Week 1 (five points, and I lost by one), and I have a bad feeling that it's going to be a looooonnnnggg year in this regard. Some #4 overall pick...
7. For the record, I think it's a disgrace if Zach Greinke doesn't win the AL Cy Young award. He'll be punished because he plays for a team that is isn't very good (four of his eight losses have been in games where the Royals were shut-out), but seriously, how can you ignore these numbers? He's got 244 strikeouts and just 44 walks in 210 innings right now. Filthy numbers.
8. Have you watched Mike Boyle's Advanced Program Design DVD set? I'm in the process of updating my resources page, and I came across it. It made me realize what a great product it was, yet how it seems to get overlooked. It's definitely worth checking out, if you haven't already.
Suffice it to say that my JV team showed up to play on Sunday, and my remarkable run (yes, 8-5 can still be remarkable; you wouldn't have believed the comraderie in my fantasy football locker room) has come to an end. I'll be pulling for Brian St. Pierre from here on out so that we can keep the CP Fantasy Football Trophy in the family.
As for my performance, let's just say that those of you who told me to play Joseph Addai over LenDale White were all miserably incorrect - and it was the difference between winning and losing (well, that along with benching Matt Schaub, Steve Breaston, Dominic Rhodes, and the Bears defense). All that said, this just about sums up my thoughts:
And, for those of you who aren't interested in football, here is a photo of a dude getting attacked by a deer. It is sure to brighten anyone's day - unless, of course, you're the dude being violated by the buck.
On a semi-related note...
Q: What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts are a buck-fifty. Deer nuts are under a buck. Zing!
I won 105-50 this week to move to 8-5 and second my spot as the third seed in the playoffs. For the record, I was the high scorer in the league, too. How you like them apples? Poor Tony was the second highest scorer and didn't even make the playoffs!
Just for the heck of it, I'll make this week's fantasy football post a bit more interactive. I've got a roster decision where you can have some input; feel free to post your comments below.
Would you play Joseph Addai (Colts home vs. Cincinnati) or LenDale White (Titans home vs. Cleveland)? For the record, I kicked myself for benching White (22 points) on Thanksgiving in favor of Addai (3 points on Sunday).
Just think: you can have just a little piece of this fantasy football glory if you make the right call...
I knocked off Gregg T. this week in fantasy football, 84-56, to bring my winning streak to three and catapult (yes, it was that dramatic) myself into a three-way tie for second place in our league at 7-5. It was pretty redeeming, as Gregg talked a lot of smack a few weeks ago when he heard that I was terrible at bowling.
You see, Gregg's bowled a few 800+ games (he defies conventional bowling scoring systems) and has enjoyed all the fame and fortune that goes along with dominating in a sport with so much international acclaim. In fact, each time he walked from the car to Cressey Performance to train, he was swarmed by adoring fans. He'd usually walk in the door, gather up all the women's underwear that had been thrown at him, sign a few autographs, and then get his lift on.
This week however, Gregg T. was outdone by Greg J - Jennings, that is. If you didn't see it, Jennings (a Green Bay WR who carried my team this week) put on a show last night in spite of his team getting beaten like a rented mule. And, he held on to this pass, where his helmet strap was permanently implanted in his cerebellum.
Fortunately, Gregg redeemed himself when he sent along this article to me for blog material:
Obese Have Right to 2 Airline Seats
Apparently, if you're "functionally disabled by obesity," you can get two airline seats for the price of one. Yes, you read that right: being heftier affords you extra luxuries (most notably, avoiding the possibility of ever having to sit next to another obese person, which is something that I think would convince anyone to lose weight).
It will be interesting to see if they go by Body Mass Index (BMI), which will probably rank every individuals who is actually dedicated to lifting weights as obese. At 5-8. 190-195, I am literally on the border between "overweight" and "obese." Forget First Class; I'm flying Fat A**!
Kidding aside (okay, not really; I'm never serious), this opens us up to a lot of dangerous precedents that could be the fallout from this court ruling:
1. Smelly people get two deodorants for the price of one.
2. Folks who are seven feet tall get to go on the amusement park rides twice because they're twice as tall as the minimum height.
3. People who are soft tissue nightmares get two massages for the price of one (as if massage therapists aren't burning out too fast already)
This list could go on and on. Dangerous precedent, indeed.
Thanks for the link, Gregg. Sorry I had to inflict such violent fantasy football dominance on you.
Going in to Monday night's game, I was trailing by 16 points with only my QB, Kurt Warner, still to go. He didn't disappoint, putting 25 points on the board with 328 yards passing and three touchdowns. After this, he had this to say about being a part of my fantasy football team (he refers to it as the "franchise" and the "organization"):
With Warner and God on my side, there's no stopping me. It doesn't quite explain my 5-5 record, but even deities have bye weeks.
And, for those who missed it, check out this week's newsletter. The follow-up on Thursday is going to be just as good.
....Greg Olsen of the Chicago Bears as the newest representative of the "Eric Cressey's Tight Ends Can't Score Points Club." I lost 73-72 this week and he scored me a whopping one point.
The only thing more pathetic than losing to someone who puts just 73 points on the board is delayed-onset muscle soreness from bowling. And, yes, that happened to me this week as well. I hadn't bowled in about five years, and we went on Sunday night. Sure enough, Monday morning, the DOMS had kicked in. How is it that I trap bar deadlifted 625 pounds last week and had zero soreness, yet rolling a ball could actually do that? I know non-familiarity is a part of the equation, but it's still absurd.
Oh yeah, I bowl like an uncoordinated chimp. Let's just say that I barely outscored my fantasy football team.
As with the past few weeks, if you don't like fantasy football (or bowling, for that matter), check out this week's newsletter. I go into some detail on the types of shoulder impingement and how each needs to be managed differently.
Let's just say that I had my worst point total (79) of the year - yet still managed to defeat Tony. I was already up 53-49 going into Monday Night's game, and Reggie Wayne, LenDale White, Bo Scaife, and Adam Vinatieri didn't do much for me. So, you could say that I beat Tony with four fewer players. Effectively, you could say that Tony's fantasy football managing strategies are as stupid as THIS.
Didn't that must make you a little bit dumber?
The good news is that our baseball training seminar in early November in Long Island is going to be videoed, so you can pre-order the DVDs now.
Ryan Longwell, my kicker for this week, didn't play until Monday night. Truth be told, though, I really didn't need him, as I was already up 99-80 over Shoooooooooomannnnnn at the end of the day Sunday (113-80 was the final). So, I decided to kick some field goals myself.
How awesome is my job? It's goooooooooooood.
Speaking of good, I actually got four points from my tight end this week. Sadly, that's a season-high. Fortunately, I got some great points out of Reggie Wayne, Steve Slaton, Joseph Addai, Greg Jennings, and Kurt "no fumbles for the first time ever" Warner.
Yes, this was a short fantasy football recap. But, at the very least, it reminds everyone of my fantasy football awesomeness and foam-roller-field-goal prowess.
Next week, it's a clash of the titans with Brian St. Pierre. Speaking of Brian, we've got a guest blog from him tomorrow; I think you'll like it.
PS - For those of you who don't give a hoot about fantasy football, just check out today's newsletter instead for some good content (particularly with respect to knee pain). Or just quit complaining and deal with it!
I pretty much wrote off Week 4 intentionally during my fantasy football draft, as I had four starters on bye weeks (three from Indianapolis, and one from Seattle). I figured that anything I could salvage this week - even if it was just a good point total for potential tie-breakers down the road - would be a good result.
I wound up losing 101-98; it wasn't even decided until Monday night. Props to Danny for putting up his best showing of the year in spite of being on a severe caloric deficit that's given rise to such gems as:
"This diet is making me sharper, angrier, cockier. Driving into work at 6am this morning, I was shoveling 8oz. of grass fed ground sirloin and broccoli with parmesan into my piehole while gargling SPIKE."
and
"I am annoyed and grumpy as as hungry grizzly bear that has been waiting at the foot of the riverbed for the salmon to spawn."
Nonetheless, he put up triple digits for the first time this year.
I picked up Steve Slaton as a free agent last week to fill in for Joseph Addai, and he scored me 17 points. As usual, though, I didn't get jack from my tight end; Heath Miller has apparently been collaborating with every other TE I've started this year on a plot to put me through years of therapy. He had a whopping eight yards receiving last night for a total of zero points - when just 22 yards receiving more would have gotten me a tie.
However, Kurt Warner is the goat of the week. With 472 yards passing and 2 TDs, you'd think he'd be the highlight of my team - but the truth is that he was the third-highest scorer because he had 87 fumbles and two inconsequential (for him, anyway) interceptions in the fourth quarter. If Warner just takes a knee, I win.
Oh, and in a game where 91 points were scored, Chansi Stuckey had just two catches for 12 yards. I watched most of the game and seriously couldn't see him anywhere on the field. He didn't get a single mention from the commentators. As it turns out, he was in the locker room playing video games wearing Laveranues Coles' away jersey the entire time trying to live vicariously through Coles, who actually catches passes.
But, all that said, 98 points on my bye week isn't too shabby. Good showing, fellas, and congrats, Danny.
Oh, and on an interesting note, the top 3 scorers this week were the three guys on the Warpspeed Fat Loss program. Coincidence? Hmm...
After a little hiccup last week, I rebounded this week in the Cressey Performance Fantasy Football League with a 103-74 thrashing of Gregg's "Salt Lake City Magic Men." Fortunately for Gregg, he won the award for dorkiest title of the week for the third week in a row. If he plays his cards right, Larrabee might let him join in on the Dungeons and Dragons fun.
It kind of makes you salivate a bit, doesn't it, Kevin?
I got another stellar performance from the Tennessee defense, and Joseph Addai finally put some big numbers on the board for me at running back. Derek Anderson, twiddling his thumbs on my bench, put up a weak six points while Kurt Warner solidified himself as my nomination for...well...whatever award it is they give to old dudes who play well at QB.
Nice try, Magic Man. Once again, fantasy football coaching brilliance triumphs over pulling rabbits out of hats.
Headed to Fenway tonight to (hopefully) watch the Sox clinch. Waaaahooooo.
